Res Gestae

last post

2004-11-03T13:27:00.000-08:00

This is my last post on this blog. It's just not for me I guess. Last night was the worst moment in modern american history.

the best quote from the election comes from Sean Gorman:

"I believe I'll devote all the time I previously spent obsessing about the election to burning American flags."

Fuck Christianity.
Fuck the south.
Fuck America.

To the Gay community....my heart is with you. Good luck.

Tarmon Gaidon?

2004-10-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

Christ, are we really headed for another Yankees/Red Sox ALCS? I don't think I'll survive this one. It's almost enough to make me want to root for the Twins.

Nah.

But, I've mentally prepared myself for the Yankees losing this time. The Red Sox are just better: there's not much doubt about it. More runs scored, fewer allowed, better starting pitching...I just don't see the Yankees taking it, barring a collapse of some sort by Schilling. It's just unavoidable--this is the Red Sox year.

Anyway, we all know the Yankees won the REAL championship--the Division title!

Whan that Octobre, with his Playoffs soute

2004-10-06T06:36:00.000-07:00

Playoff baseball and Vice Presidential hijinx prevented me from finishing my grading last night. I tried to grade a couple papers infront of the TV, but you just can't concentrate on some 19 year old girls pitiful yammering about female exploitation in the Reeve's tale when you're watching Johann Santana embarrass the Yankees, or screaming at Dick Cheney as he lies out of his asshole.

Bob Somerby at the Daily Howler has come up with the perfect response for John Kerry to use against the $87 billion attack. I know we all know the facts already, but never have I seen it laid out so crisply and in such graspable terms (even for the Rubes). Bob Somerby should be Kerry's chief adviser, or at least made Press Secretary under the new administration.

"Diane, as a senator, I get paid to vote “yes” on good bills and “no” on bad ones. And that bill to provide the $87 billion—that was a bad bill, in my opinion. I wanted to see a better bill providing that money to our troops. I wanted to see that funding paid for by us, not by our grandchildren, and I wanted to see an actual plan for how that money was going to be spent. Diane, do you know that $20 billion of that money was designated for reconstruction projects, and that now, a whole year later, only five percent of that money has been spent? That’s just incredibly bad planning! Those of us who said we wanted to see a plan before we authorized that money turned out to be right. This was just another case in which the Bush Administration had no real plan for their actions—none at all! They insisted that we hurry up and approve that money—and they had no idea how to spend it!

Diane, those troops were always going to be funded. That was never at issue—not at all. Everyone knows that, including the president, who talks about every day this as just another silly diversion."

If Kerry ever gave an answer that clear and devestating to the question, that meme would be dead in the water forever.

Blogpsot

2004-10-05T05:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried to go to a blogspot page and been redirected to Aaron's Bible page? This religious psychopath has registered every domain name containing the common typographical errors blogpsot and blogpot. Thousands of bloggers across the blogosphere have thought themselves hijacked by this Buchanan brigader--and I wonder how many souls have been saved in the process.
A quick check of the guest book on this Evangelical oasis reveals some startling testimonials: "I was never very religious, but I found this page completely by accident while looking for something else. I know it was the hand of God that guided me here." No, fucktard, just your easily predictable typos.
My god, these Chaucer papers are really bad. Didn't these kids take expos or its equivalent?

Jon Stewart humiliates Giuliani

2004-10-01T13:37:00.000-07:00

Giuliani is such a fucking whore.

And Jon Stewart rules:

RUDY: Three times he said the war was a mistake, and in the end, he said it wasn't a mistake. I think the level of contradiction is pretty frightening when you're running for President of the United States.
JON: Now, when he said when he may have made a mistake in terms of talking about the war, but that the President made a mistake in prosecuting the war, and he felt that was more egregious, that didn't resonate with you at all?
RUDY: No it didn't, because I don't know how you tell those young men and women to continue this war to carry on if it is a mistake, and I don't know how you bring extra allies or more allies into a war that you are pronouncing almost in very very dramatic language as a terrible mistake. The whole core of John Kerry's idea, his whole "plan" his so-called plan is he can bring in more allies. More allies to continue a war that he believes is a horrible mistake. It doesn't make any sense to me, I don't think it will make any sense to the American people.
JON: Right, and again, boy, I hate to harp on it, but don't you think that what he believes is the mistake is how we went about the war, not the actually idea of disarming Saddam? I think what he was saying was, he felt Saddam could have been disarmed without us invading.
RUDY: Well
JON: And actually, I guess what I would suggest is he was actually disarmed, because there weren't really the weapons we thought were there. [Girl in the audience screams in delight, and audience starts to cheer.]
JON: Or, or, you know, I don't know...
RUDY: Yeah, but Jon, he himself was a Weapon of Mass Destruction.
JON: Senator Kerry?
RUDY: He himself was a supporter of terrorism. No, Saddam Hussein was a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

What a day!!

2004-10-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

The Yankees win the division, and then Kerry BITCHSLAPS Chimpy in the debate. What a disgrace our president is...a stammering, hem-hawing semi-retarded monkey. Oh, and he's also a mass murderer responsible for tens of thousands of needless deaths.
Watching the GOP spin machine try to salvage this is hysterical. Bush wasn't irritated, says Karl Rove, he was just "pensive" and "focused." BWAHAHAHAH, focused on saying the same goddamn retarded things over and over again?

Bring on Edwards/Cheney.

I have to grade 26 papers by college sophomores on one piece of Medieval Literature from the Norton Anthology. hahaha. This should be fun.

blech

2004-09-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one that is still nervous about the AL East? I have a feeling the Red Sox will finish their season with one of those 7-0 runs. The Yankees still have to face Johan Santana and Brad Radke.

I may have lost my wallet. I really hope not...it had over a hundred dollars in it, not to mention credit cards, drivers license, social security card...the whole magillah.

I will be up until 3 a.m. at least tonight grading papers. 5 a.m. if I take time out to watch the Red Sox/Devil Rays game.

School is a real bummer. People with jobs and money know where the fuck it's at.

Go Scott Kazmir!

Boatswain!

2004-09-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

My first lecture ever to an undergraduate class will be on The Tempest.

It's not my favorite--I'd rather be teaching Lear or Coriolanus. Thankfully, I brought with me to graduate school all the copious notes I took during this guy's lectures, so with my theater experience I should be able to do some skillfull parroting, as long as I remember to leave out references to the grease trucks.

Hopefully, I'll be able to continue faking my way through graduate school in this fashion until I trick them into giving me a PhD.

The real frightening part is that I have to ask and field questions. And these kids are bold, 300 level types. It's not one of those En151 courses full of engineers fulfilling their humanities requirements. These kids actually think they're smart (and one or two of them actually are).

Since kids today love interiority, I might give some time to the 19th century biographical reading of this play--Shakespeare reflecting on his entire artistic life, etc. I plan to fill up a lot of time, though, reading several passages aloud with the forceful gravitas for which I was known in college.

I have a feeling this could be a disaster.

Economist Poll

2004-09-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

Kerry leads 46-45.

Ha

2004-09-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

Damn, that was a sweet 25-5 Ass whupping the Yankees laid on the Red Sox last weekend. The bars in Kenmore Square were as quiet as the fans at a Devil Rays/Royals game.

Holy fucking shit, my work ethic so far this semester is disgusting--in large part because of my new addiction to political blogs and BaseballThinkFactory.org. I'm behind in readings, doing a half hearted job as a TA, and I still haven't gone to a single fencing practice. My dreams of turning the BU fencing club into a force to reckoned with fadeth fast.

Good opening:
The double sorwe of Troilus to tellen
That was the King Priamus son of Troye...

Grading

2004-09-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

I must admit to being slightly flummoxed by my principal duty as a Teaching Assistant. As I sit here with a stack of ungraded papers which range from barely coherent to upper level English major quality, it strikes me fully just how arbitrary this process can be. With no mistakes to count, it seems to amount to little more than a feeling or intuition on the part of the grader. I mean, I can tell the difference between a good paper and a crappy paper, but what about between a B- and a B, or even more crucial, a C+ and a B-. I feel like I will probably want to err on the side of caution and give higher grades when in doubt, as that will limit the number of crying undergrads I have accosting me during office hours. But, far be it from me to play the role of the pushover.
Anyway, this is probably one of those things that seems really intimidating at first, but a month from now will be the kind of task I polish off while watching Monday night football.

Four days until the Yankees/Red Sox showdown begin. I don't give the Yanks much of a chance. It's all for vanity anyway, as both are well assured of a playoff berth.

$14,500

2004-09-10T11:31:00.000-07:00

How far will a $14,500 stipend take you when your rent is $765 a month, and you only have time to work 12 hours a week?

I don't know, but we're sure gonna find out!!!

I'm back

2004-09-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

OK, this blog will be sputtering back to life. Regular (or semi-regular updates) to begin again shortly.

Astounding...

2004-08-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

I can't believe what I just heard.

Jim McGreevey, you are fucking awesome.

That was just the most remarkable speech I've ever heard a politician give.

"I am a gay American."

I shouldn't be shocked I guess. Jack Shit told me all this years ago, even about the Israeli boyfriend.

Still...

Meet a real cunt

2004-08-12T13:04:00.000-07:00

“Verona pays over $8 million to Essex County every year,” said Jenn Jenson, one of the Verona residents petitioning for secession. “I think a new county formed by West Essex communities can be more efficient and less expensive."

Of course, you wouldn't have all those poor, pesky black people to support!

Cunt.

McGreevey

2004-08-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

McGreevey is about to be destroyed.

It's a sad day for New Jersey Democrats.

...

2004-08-04T13:48:00.000-07:00

Wind oozing thin through the thorn from nor'ward
and the woman calling.

Bush is fucking Toast

2004-08-03T22:05:00.000-07:00

If the election were held today, John Kerry would crush the chimp. I'm positive. George Bush cannot win without taking both Ohio and Florida. Kerry can win without either of them. Kerry is currently up three points in Florida, according to the (admittedly questionable) Zogby interactive poll. Also, Kerry now has a slight lead in TENNESSEE!

Don't listen to the RNC spin machine. There was a bounce, the only kind of bounce we will see in this election...a solide electoral bounce for Kerry resulting from small gains in a number of swing states.

Also, don't look now, but Kerry is romping in New Hampshire, which went red in 2000.

Look at it this way. Kerry is currenlty winning in every state that Gore carried in 2000. It is VERY hard to believe that any of those states would flip--Bush defectors far outnumber Democratic defectors. If he carries all of those, that would be 260 electoral votes.

Kerry is also currently leading in Florida, Missouri, and, shockingly, Tennesse (by a razor thin margine). Any one of those states gives Kerry the election. In addition, he is within a hairsbreadth of Bush in Arizona, which would also give him the election. Ohio is also far from a lost cause...recent polls have Bush up by 5.

Other toss up states that are easily winnable for Kerry: West Virginia, Nevada, Arizona, and Ohio. Remember, if Kerry wins Ohio, he wins the election.

More good news, North Carolina is now neck and neck! Even if Kerry doesn't win any southern state, merely forcing Bush to expend dollars and time to hang on to Dixieland will help Kerry in the more winnable battle ground states.

The chimp is against the wall right now. We can get him out of office, we really REALLY can do it.

If we just had ONE PERSON on cable news that would stand up for us. But they're nothing but a bunch of whores, happy to spout RNC talking points.

The best pundit in America is currently Jon Stewart, and it's not really close. He's been outstanding.

Corzine

2004-07-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

What is this crap I'm reading in the New York Times about Corzine replacing McGreevy as the candidate for Governor in the next election. Why the hell would Corzine wan't to be governor, anyway? He clearly set out to be involved in Washington, not Trenton.

McGreevy is much more suited to New Jersey politics. Corzine is great at raising money for Democratic congressional candidates. Leaving his seat to become Governor of New Jersey would be pointless and would hurt the DNC. Who the hell are the Republicans gonna get to run against McGreevy, anyway? Jim Treffinger?

Domus Aurea

2004-07-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

Well, we've landed ourselves a new apartment. The good news=it's large, it's clean, it's newly renovated, it's got TWO full size immaculate bathrooms, and a free washer dryer. It even has a study.

The bad news...it's $50 a month more expensive, which means I have to come up with an extra $600 over the course of the year.

More bad news...instead of a leisurely stroll to the Coolidge Corner subway stop, we are now a 5 minute walk. I'm actually sort of pissed about that, because Boston winters can sometimes make you feel like you're on the surface of Europa. However, in the grand scheme of things, it's not so bad...we still live closer to the subway than most, we've just been spoiled by our outrageous proximity this past year. The fact that I now have to walk for five minutes before I can take a 6 minute subway ride into the heart of Downtown Boston shouldn't make me that upset when some people actually live in places like Utah and Ohio. (har har)

Yankees vs. Red Sox round 4 begins tonight. The only way this series is interesting is if one team sweeps. If the Red Sox take two out of three, the Yankees will still lead the division by 7.5 games and can most likely coast to the title. If the Yankees sweep, they can effectively put the Red Sox to sleep (11.5 games out at the start of August). If the Sox sweep, the Divisional race becomes mildly interesting again. The Yankees are sort of in a neuetral zone trap 3-0 lead in a hockey game mode. Just hold them off and you'll be fine.

The Democratic National Convention looms. While I dread the hassle this could add to my life as a Boston commuter, I am really looking forward to the speaking lineup, especially Barak Obama and John Edwards. If you havent' heard of Barak Obama yet, fear not...you will.

My first task as Teaching Assistant for the department chair is to gather slides to make class more visually appealing. Sounds like a hoot.

Wanderlust

2004-07-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

To respond to your comment, Sean, Southern California is on the short list of places to go, along with Tampa, New Orleans and San Francisco. Will keep you updated should we be headed your way.

Too tired for this gay ass blog shit

2004-07-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

Due to several cancellations, I did not arrive in Boston until two hours before I had to be at work. Waking up at 3:45 a.m. to get a plane out of Grand Rapids airport is an experience I'd rank somewhere alongside...alongside....eh, too tired to think of a clever analogy.

On the plus side, we were compensated with free round trip tickets anywhre in the continental U.S. On the minus side, the airline is ATA, so the options are somewhat limited. Perhaps a few days in Miami Beach or Tampa or New Orleans will erase the trauma done to me by incompetent airline boobery.

In other good news, Mark Teixeira hit like a maniac while I was gone. He's now better than Hank Blalock.

fucking christ

2004-07-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

Well, we have to move.

Yes.

Once again, I will not be staying in an apartment for more than a year. Our new landlord has decided she wants to renovate the building, and will not renew our lease.

This is terrible news. For one, we all love our apartment, and we all love our neighborhood. But also, we are now going to have to START an apartment search in the middle of the September 1 apartment searching frenzy. If I ever meet Caroline Ganjei on the street, I'll...well, I'll have some unpleasant words for her, you can be sure.

I'm off to Michigan for three days to meet Carey's parents. Should be interesting and fun. I've always enjoyed me time in the midwest.

FYI

2004-07-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

MLB.com already limits your access to internet broadcasts according to your geographic region. As I live in the Boston Red Sox cable territory, I cannot watch Red Sox games on MLB TV. Also, all national broadcasts are blacked out. However, it's STILL a bargain at $60. Woohoo!

Part of the Problem

2004-07-12T08:03:00.000-07:00

Ian's post got me to thinking....Am I contributing to the decline in the reading of literature? If you leave school assigned books out of the equation, here are the last ten books I have picked up and chosen to read:

The Beauty of Inflections, Jerome J. McGann
A History of the Crusades, Vol I Steven Runciman
Thank God for the Atom Bomb and Other Essays, Paul Fussell
The Fabric of the Cosmos, Brian Greene
Doing Battle, Paul Fussell
Swords Against the Senate: The Fall of the Roman Republic, Eric Hildinger
The Sicilian Vespers (Italy in the 13th Century), Steven Runciman
The Devil's Horsemen: The Mongol Invasion of Europe, Some Hack
Caesar Against the Celts, Some other Hack
The Hittites, O.R. Gurney

One book of literary criticism, one book of cultural essays, one memoir, one book on quantum physics for the layperson, three books on medieval history, two books on ancient Rome, and one, most cryptically of all, on an obscure civilization from the Ancient Near East.

Of course, this leaves out all that fucking Charles Dickens I read last semester, and my line by line translation of Beowulf...and Pope's Iliad...and all that goddmaned Elizabeth Bishop. Stupid grad school...no wonder I don't read literature in my spare time.

Flame away, ye dogs!

Buchanan

2004-07-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

I'd never vote for him for any public office, but I think Pat Buchanan is currently my favorite talking head on cable, surpassing Chris Matthews after Mattthews' disgusting attacks on John Edwards the other day. Maybe favorite isn't the right word, but least hated. Cable News is such a wasteland of intelligent and independent thought that Buchanan's libertarian, non-partisan vigilance is pretty refreshing. I know I disagree with him on pretty much ever social issue out there, but, well, here's to you Pat Buchanan...keep pissing off both sides.

Something like a war

2004-07-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

The Yankee game is on at 1 p.m. today?! And the boss is out of the office?! And I have MLB TV?!

Paid to watch baseball!

We few, we happy few...

2004-07-07T08:17:00.000-07:00

Let's hear it for Kevin Teo of the National University of Singapore! OSU's only incoming Medievalist.

It gets worse!

2004-07-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

Roger Ebert's review is even worse than A.O. Scott's!

"The plot involves Rome's desire to defend its English colony against the invading Saxons, and its decision to back the local Woads in their long struggle against the barbarians. But Rome, declining and falling right on schedule, is losing its territorial ambitions and beginning to withdraw from the far corners of its empire. That leaves Arthur risking his neck without much support from the folks at home, and perhaps he will cast his lot with England."

Rome's English colony?!

Arthur to cast his lot with England?!?!

Horrifying!

For the last time

2004-07-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

A.O. Scott's review of King Arthur really annoyed me this morning. His inability to distinguish between Britain and England is laughable.

He says of Arthur's Knights:
"They complain about the English weather, which was even drearier back in the fifth century, but their devotion to Arthur is absolute."

And then of Arthur himself
"Arthur, who will somehow establish freedom for England by being declared its king,"

Look people, I'm going to go over this one more time:

The terms Britain and British refer to both generally the geographical region of the Isles and often more specifically to the Celitc peoples and cultures that dwelt on those Isles before the Germanic invasions.

The terms England and English refer both specifically to the unified Germanic nation that arose under King Alfred the Great in the late 8th century and more generally to the ethnically Germanic peoples and Kingdoms of the pre-Norman conquest era, including Northumbria, Wessex, Sussex, Middlesex, East Anglia, Kent, and Mercia. The word is derived from the Old English compound Angla-land (land of the Anles). It has nothing to do with King Arthur or the Celts. There was no King of the English until Alfred, a West Saxons, united the individual English Kingdoms to fight Norse invaders.

For about 300 years the BRITISH and ENGLISH (Angles, Saxons, Jutes) were bitter enemies who fought constantly. The British had hired the Germanic tribes from the continent to serve as mercenaries against the Picts and Scots, who found the tamer Celts to the south to be easy pickings after the Roman legions left the Isles. When the Germanic peopsl arrived, they decided they liked the country and would just take it for themselves. Arthur, a Romano-Celtic or Celtic leader, fought AGAINST the ENGLISH in 12 famous battles (or so the story goes), finally defeating the ENGLISH at the battle of Mount Badon and earning a respite from war for the BRITONS. In the long term the Anglo-Saxons proved victorious, however.

Arthur=British
Saxons=English

Are we clear now, A.O. Scott?

Man, the New York Times is really slipping.

Wow

2004-07-02T12:40:00.000-07:00

I made the mistake of watching last night's amazing Yankees/Red Sox game at a bar in Allston. Two people threatened to break bottles over my head. I fucking hate Massholes.

Derek Jeter's catch might be overrated from a purely defensive standpoint, but it was still remarkable effort and absolutely thrilling theater. The site of Jeter's torn up and bloody face and he was helped out of the stands, still clutching the precious third out, is an image that I'll remember for a long time.

Shit, it's so hard to do work when there's no boss in the office.

Must. Be. Responsible.

If you had any doubt that Yankee fans are the best

2004-06-30T11:25:00.000-07:00

Yankee fans boo Dick Cheney.

"You bet Cheney got booed while Ronan Tynan sang "God Bless America." Cheney - close to the action for a change - had been down in a box seat next to the Yankee dugout with Rudy Giuliani and Gov. George Pataki. Now Cheney was upstairs in George Steinbrenner's box, and when they put his face on the big screen in the outfield, there was plenty of booing. It was about the only thing that stopped the real cheers for the Yankees at Yankee Stadium as they kept pouring it on against the Red Sox." -Lupica

Hillary Clinton

2004-06-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

Is there any shit that Drudge won't shovel? Seriously, this guy had like two scoops during the Clinton witch hunt, and now he basically just blows smoke and noise.

I was late two work two days in a row because of Civ III. My boss seemed kinda pissed today. How to explain to him that I couldn't stand to pull myself away from the computer when I was *this close* to finishing off the Zulu for good with my merciless bomber and armor attacks.

I watched some of the Gore Vidal/William F. Buckley debates yesterday. Buckley calling Vidal a queer and threatening to smash his face after Vidal calls him a Nazi is classic stuff. The conservative movement has gone from William F. Buckley to Sean Hannity? How sad.

Never Such Innocence Again

2004-06-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

Philip Larkin is my favorite post Stevens poet. Don't miss "Aubade."

Farenheit

2004-06-28T14:29:00.000-07:00

That movie rocked. It got a huge ovation at the screening I attended, though I have a feeling that most of them were highly predisposed to liking it for political reasons, just like me!

What exactly were the MOORE LIES in this film that Joe Scarborough (a man who needs to beaten about the groin with bats) was raving and ranting about over the weekend? Surely, most of the stuff in this movie is common knowledge, with the possible exception of some of the saucier ins and outs of the ties between Bush and the Saudis.

I was moved almost to tears in the first five minutes of the movie, when the black representatives couldn't get ONE FUCKING SENATOR to sign on to their challange. C'mon Corzine! That could have been your big moment.

The best part of this movie is not its filmic quality, or its startling revelations, or even its slavish adherence to facts (none of those things are really there in spades), but how PISSED OFF it's making the O'Reillys, Hannitys, and Scarboroughs of the world. My god, everyone is so mad. I saw some Republican strategist on Scarborough comparing Moore to Stalin and Hitler. Awesome!!! I love when those shitlickers get kicked in the fucking nuts.

King Arthur

2004-06-28T14:14:00.000-07:00

One of the most annoying things about the King Arthur hooplah is the glut of people on AICN talkbacks and other Movie news sites talking about how the movie will fly in England because England loves movies about her folk heroes.

How in the HOLY FUCK can you call King Arthur, who, if you even believe in his existence, spent his every waking moment fighting against the English, an English folk hero? Because he was from Britain? That's like calling Crazy Horse an American Patriot because he lived in South Dakota. The world is people by nothing but troglodytes, troglodytes I tell you!

Now, maybe you want to make a case that the movie would fly in Wales or Scotland or Ireland a-la Braveheart, because it's the original story of Celtic resistance against Anglo-Saxon wankers. That I can accept, possibly.

The one thing I like about the look of the movie so far is Arthur's armor, which is decidedly Roman looking. One must conclude that if the Celts knew anything about armor, they learned it from the Romans, and that Celts who had received military training would have received it from serving in the Legions.

I still think Caractacus would make a better subject for a movie than the "real" Arthur. At least there's some fairly extensive historical documentation of that story.

pffft

2004-06-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

Historical King Arthur my ass.

Wierd

2004-06-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

Ian and I have the same recurring anxiety nightmare about missing a class for the whole semester and then having to take the final. In my dreams, it's always some wierd chemistry or geometry class.

Constantinople takes revenge for 4th Crusade

2004-06-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

Today the Byzantines sacked Rome, plundered her stores and churches, killed many of her inhabitants, and set their own governor in place to rule the populace with an iron fist. Only our eternal mercy kept the city from being razed to the ground, though such an act would be just recompense for the terror wrought by the Peregrini Christi in 1204.

My God, this game is going to be my ruination.

Next up on my hit list, the Ottomans. Watch out Mehmet II, the Byzantines are back, and we're fucking pissed!!!

Civ III

2004-06-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

Man, I played my first game as a sort of tutorial, with the emphasis on learning the game rather than doing particularly well. I got my ass kicked! It took me, King Xerxes of The Persians, a while to figure out that I needed to build roads to my colonies and resources to use them. I also expanded way too slowly. I tried to play it peaceful: I didn't have a war with a foreign power until 1180 A.D. I don't think anyone respected me though, even with my Immortals: my relationship with the Zulus was sort of cold from the beginning. However, things went to shit when the Babylonians and Zulus started building cities right next to my mining colonies. This would drive out my colonists and cut off my resource supplies. Finally, I had to start capturing settlers and I attacked and razed the two new cities (one Zulu, one Babylonian) that were blocking my access to iron and spices.

I thought I could do this then quicky sue for peace. I was wrong. Within 10 turns my territories were swarming with Zulu Impi warriors and Babylonian swordsmen. When I tried to mount an offensive my units always seemed to get killed. Then the Germans jumped on the bandwagon and I seemed to be at war with everyone in the world who I knew. My roads were destroyed, my irrigation plundered, my cities eventually captured I made a last stand at Antioch, and like the legendary historical city I made them pay bitterly in the siege, but in the end to no avail. As the capitol of Persepolis fell, King Xerxes tried to flee to sanctuary in Russia. However, he was captured by Babylonian forces and given over to Hammurabi, who paraded him through the streets of Babylon before cutting off his head in the public square.

I guess it took me way too long to figure out what I was doing. Next time it will be different.

Sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be an expert on this stuff

2004-06-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

Allow me to briefly speak in mild praise of Boston University's PhD program in English. I do so having recently been reading about Dowling's grim warnings to anyone thinking about going to graduate school, and this delightfully savaging satirical interview.

I can't really compare BU's facutly quality to any other school except Rutgers (I would say they're fairly comparable), but I can say how pleased I am with the course offerings and course requirements. Through my first two years of graduate work, I will have taken the following

Fall 2003:
Tennyson
Modern British and Irish Poetry (i.e. Hardy to Heaney)
Old English
Literary Theory I

Spring 2004:
Beowulf
Dickens
Pope and the Age of Humanism
Stevens, Frost, Bishop

Fall 2004:
Chaucer
Latin Epic: Virgil and Lucan

Spring 2004:
Milton (taught by Christopher Ricks?)
Middle English Lyric

It's hard to think even the staunchest Dowlingite could take issue with that. The offerings are broad, and tend to be highly literary. Of course, I'm cherry picking, and my transcript could easily have looked something like this:

Fall 2003:
American Transculturation
Theory
Carribean Poetry
17th Century Gender Issues in Literature

Spring 2004:
Frued and Lacan
Gender in American Culture
Observation in Modern Lyirc
Modern English Grammar

Fall 2004:
Post-Colonial Theater
Religion and Violence in American Culture

Spring 2005:
U.S. Imperialism and Literary Culture
Film Theories

I guess my point is: there's something for everybody!

Comments

2004-06-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

Why am I the only one who invites comments on my blog? WHAT DO YOU ALL FEAR?!?!?!

Nantucket

2004-06-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

Anyone planning a weekend trip, let me tell you about Nantucket.

Nantucket is only accessible by ferry. The trip from the cape (Hyannis or Woods Hole) is about an hour and a half to two hours. The voyage across Nantucket Sound is breezy and pleasant, and they even serve wine on board.

When you arrive at Straight Wharf, you will disembark into a quaint little shore town that I can only describe as the most pleasant and attractive shore town I have ever seen. It beats Bar Harbor or Cape May hands down, let alone buckets of piss like Long Beach Island or, shudder, Seaside. The streets are cobblestoned, the lighting decorative, the buildings quaint with a historic dignity (nothing faux about it). There aren't many cars, and you won't really need one. There are no highways on Nantucket. From the waterfront you can walk to Jetties Beach, or rent a bike to ride inland. If you must, shuttles and taxis are available.

While on the island you can swim, of course, either in Nantucket Sound along the north coast, or in the Atlantic Ocean to the south. The beaches are less crowded and generally prettier than those on the Cape. There's world class hiking as well: 40 percent of the island is protected conservation land or wildlife habitat. If angling is your sport of choice, try to hook a few stripers or blue fish.

When evening comes, head back to the waterfront and dine on the best fucking scallops ever. Finish your day with Leah's Fudge--you won't regret it.

As for me, I can't wait to get back. Nothing sucks worse than a summer in the city.

Fucking Soccer Moms

2004-06-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

Are the people of West Essex really as dumb as they seem?

Restaurant Week

2004-06-21T10:39:00.000-07:00

In Restaurant Weeks past I have had the prix-fixe lunches at The Water Club and The 21 Club. The former was a great experience, as the wait staff treated you like you belonged and the view was gorgeous. At 21, they seemed to want to rush you out as fast as possible, and the food was mediocre. The famous 21 Burger wasn't even an option for the lunch.

I got my new flat panel monitor, and I've been playing Civ III almost non stop since my return from the Cape (more on that later). This morning my Persian spearmen crushed the primitive Hurrian tribesmen that had been raiding my cities and ravaging my road system.

It's no Seaside, but it'll have to do

2004-06-18T12:27:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Cape Cod for the weekend with Carey. No updates probably until Monday. I don't have much to say at the moment anyway.

Ulysses

2004-06-16T13:56:00.000-07:00

Confession: I never fucking read it! ha HA!

My way around this is being able to quote the last line: yes, she said, yes I will yes. Something like that, right?

Seriously, this holiday is pretty stupid. We all know the greatest novel in English is Persuasion.

"...Man is more robust than woman, but he is not longer lived;" [replied Anne] "which exactly explains my view of the nature of their attachments. Nay, it would be too hard upon you, if it were otherwise. You have difficulties, and privations, and dangers enough to struggle with. You are always labouring and toiling, exposed to every risk and hardship. Your home, country, friends, all quitted. Neither time, nor health, nor life, to be called your own. It would be hard, indeed" (with a faltering voice), "if woman's feelings were to be added to all this."

"We shall never agree upon this question," Captain Harville was beginning to say, when a slight noise called their attention to Captain Wentworth's hitherto perfectly quiet division of the room. It was nothing more than that his pen had fallen down; but Anne was startled at finding him nearer than she had supposed, and half inclined to suspect that the pen had only fallen because he had been occupied by them, striving to catch sounds, which yet she did not think he could have caught.

Hmmm

2004-06-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

Shawn, I don't think you should get involved in that wierd foursome shit. What if the other dude tries to grab your nuts or something?

LCD

2004-06-16T06:10:00.000-07:00

I was so excited for the arrival of my flat panel monitor today that I woke up at 7:30 a.m. Still waiting.

It was nice to see Mo break the CURSE OF THE BOB last night. Also, Tom Gordon=Good.

This summer has been interesting. On the one hand, my weekends with Carey have been consistently outstanding: New York City, Six Flags, Hiking in New Hampshire, and more to come, including the Cape, the Berkshires, and Chicago. However, as it is currently absolutely devoid of practically all my friends except for her, the weekdays can be kind of shitty. Remember New Brunswick summers, when the city was hot, deserted, and depressing? Well...this is nothing like that, I guess, because Boston in the summer is green and golden and full of life, but, well, I guess it'd be nice to have Jeff and Sean to stumble over to the The Avenue with.

Still no Flat Panel Monitor.

I'm doing more research for Professor James Winn. It's quite tedious, and he hasn't even let me glance at the manuscript yet. I'd better at least get a mention in the preface. The book does sound interesting: war poetry from Homer through World War II. The other day I had to look up passages in The Song of Roland for him, and I realized I bet I could learn Old French to a passable level pretty quickly if I start learning modern french soon.

MY Latin is still decaying. I'm supposed to try to read a little bit of the Aeneid every day...you can guess how well that's going. Quis tibi, saeve puer, dedit hoc in carmina juris?!?!

DNC cronies are always in the streets now begging for money. It's quite unseemly, but I did give $25 a couple weeks ago.

Relief Ace

2004-06-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Last night's Yankee game will defintiely take its place alongside the great regular season games of recent memory, up there with Giambi'sgrand slam against the Twins. The game was so good, I almost wasn't bothered by Michael Kay's announcing, which remains some of the worst play by play calling in major league baseball.
But despite the miracle back to back homers in the bottom of the ninth, this game still could have very easily wound up in the L column, thanks to Joe Torre's overuse of Mariano Rivera finally coming back to bite the Yankees.

It's no secret that I often disagree with Joe Torre's moves, and that's ok. We all know Torre is a fine manager, and it does no one any good to repeat that ad nauseum. Some healthy questioning of his decisions is well within anyone's rights.
For instnace, I think his handling of Mariano Rivera has been close to criminal, and I think sometimes Torre lets his handling of Mo be guided solely by the completely arbitrary and meaningless "save" stat. It would be nice if Joe would use Gordon or Quantrill more to protect three run leads in the ninth inning. While this would cut into Mariano's save tally, it would do wonders for saving his arm for the stretch run, and would likely have an infinitismal effect on the Yankees' win-loss record. Even the most mediocre pitcher has a very good chance to get through an inning without giving up three runs, let alone excellent pitchers like Gordon and Quantrill, and even if things start to get hairy, you always have Mo standing by to put out the fire.
To quote Bill James: "Using your relief ace to protect a three-run lead is like a business using a top executive to negotiate fire insurance."
I happen to agree with James' idea that your best reliever should be used in the situation that appears to be most crucial, whether it is a save situation or not (i.e., protecting a lead with runners on in the seventh, or a tie game in extra innings.) Slavishly adhering to the principals of the "save" stat leads to a lot of wasted innings for top closers.
But the, much better writers than I have already covered the topic, Bill James most notably, but also ESPN columnist Rob Neyer.

What I'm getting at is that it's a loooooong season, and Mariano is currenlty on pace to log 94 innings, which would be the most he's ever thrown by a comfortable margin. I know that Torre is beginning to realize this, hence we saw Prinz in the 12 inning instead of Rivera. Had Mo's arm not been needlessly taxed in some of those easier save appearances, he might very well have been available to pitch that 12th inning. Of course, we all know it ended happily, so maybe I shouldn't complain too much. I just hope Mo's workload doesn't lead to a late season fade.

Man

2004-06-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

It doesn't get much better than last night's Yankee game.

Yo, let's hang out in front of dunkin donuts!

2004-06-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

While Pat is enduring his high school reunion this weekend, I want to remind him that it could have been worse....he could very easily have gone to high school here. Though that might have made for a more interesting reunion.

Bookends

2004-06-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

I used to work at Cardventure, which is just a few doors down from Bookends. The store itself is nothing too special, but they always get pretty interesting people in for signings. I remember Hillary Clinton signed there, and my friend Gregg interviewed wrestler Mick Foley at his book signing.

The best thing about downtown Ridgewood are the pancakes.

Darmok and Jilad at Tenagra!

2004-06-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

According to stone tablets from the ancient city of Ur, Sumerian kings ruled for 28,000 years.

Brian Greene

2004-06-10T17:47:00.000-07:00

You know, Brian Greene's two books have expanded my understanding of reality more than all the philosophy and theory I have ever read combined. I know it's sort of apples and oranges, but sometimes I wonder why anyone wastes their time with Derrida when physics is so much more interesting.

monitor

2004-06-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

Woo! I just bought a flat panel monitor!

Big Mac

2004-06-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

I ate a big mac for lunch today, with a diet coke and no french fries. Yes, this sounds like a bad idea, but cutting out the soft drink and fries makes it a somewhat modest 570 calorie lunch. Passable for a growing boy like me.

My real point is this: I haven't had a big mac in a long time, and I had forgotten that they are DELICIOUS! Yummy yum! They are probably the only thing on the mcdonald's menu really worth ordering, when you consider how bad for you everything is. If you're gonna eat garbage, at least eat the best tasting garbage.

Oddly enough, the thing that got me thinking about having a big mac for lunch was Super Size Me. One of the fellows interviewed for the documentary is the world's biggest Bic Mac fan. He's eaten 10,000 in his life or something, 2 a day on average. He weighs 150 lbs and has a cholesterol of 140. More importantly, I found his passion for the bic mac infectious.

New Jersey's legislative districts seem to have been drawn up by retarded people who fall off roller coasters. Assemblyman Kevin O'Toole (R-40) is a real douchebag. He's the typical "everyone in my district is rich, so we don't have to worry about anyone else's problems" North Jersey republican. Here's a gem

"McNamara, Russo and O'Toole support a GOP proposal to bring fairness and common sense to state school aid allocations and to save taxpayers as much as $1 billion year. They're demanding reform: annual state aid to city schools must, in the future, be set at the statewide average cost per student, not at the highest cost per student as it is currently the case."

In other words, "we don't give two shits about poor-ass school districts, because we and most of our voters live in Ridgewood/Verona/Franklin Lakes, where public schools are justfinethankyou...and if they weren't we'd just send our kids to Delbarton or Bergen Catholic. Eat shit and die you disgusting poor people!"

Dork

2004-06-09T05:32:00.000-07:00

Regarding Shawn's interview:
I'm so sick of hearing really hot actresses and entertainers say that they are such big dorks or nerds. Nothing infuriates me more. Being a nerd is something you have to earn by doing things like playing Fortress America instead of going to the prom or going to see Return of the King eight times.

GRE

2004-06-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

I absolutely bombed my GREs. I bombed the verbal, I bombed the Literature subject exam, I bombed the analytical.

I did shockingly well in Math, however (700!). Oddly enough, though my math score was numerically the highest, it was by far the lowest percentile-wise. My horrible Verbal score was something like 93rd percentile, though for someone planning to go to graduate school for English it was more like 5th percentile.

I won't even go into the literature exam.

My point is this: study hard for these fuckers, especially if you're aiming for a PhD program. Do as well as you possibly can. If you fuck up like I did, you will essentially have to buy you way into a PhD program by spending $40,000 on a master's degree first. Your full scholarship and $13,000 stipend when you finally snag hold of a spot in a doctoral program will seem like a lot less if you're already saddled with such enormous debt.

In the end, my chances for a happy and financially stable life are now about 1 in 5000. I was reading one of those grad school handbooks a few months back, and it said that someone with my debt should be earning about $80,000 a year when their loan payments begin. If by some miracle of miracles I am able to get a tenure track job at a real college or university, I can expect to make about $40,000 out of the gate, tops. If, as is much more likely, I am unable to secure a real job, then a declaration of bankruptcy seems like a distinct possibility.

So, good luck Ian.

hahahah

2004-06-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

Cuba's government radio station on Reagan:

"As forgetful and irresponsible as he (Reagan) was, he forgot to take his worst works to the grave," the government radio station said. "He, who never should have been born, has died."

Radio Reloj lambasted Reagan's military policies, especially the "Star Wars" anti-missile program. The initiative, launched when the Soviet Union still existed, rejected a long-standing doctrine built on the idea that neither superpower would start a nuclear war out of fear of annihilation by the other.

The radio station also criticized Reagan's policy of a Washington-backed counterrevolutionary rebel army in Central America that fought against the leftist Sandinista government in Nicaragua.

"His apologists characterize him as the victor of the Cold War," the radio station said Monday. "Those in the know knew that the reality was not so, but rather (Reagan was) the destroyer of policies of detente in the overall quest for peace."

A couple more thoughts on Harry Potter

2004-06-07T11:43:00.000-07:00

The more I think about it, the more I realize that this movie sucked. What the hell was with that "climax"? Everyone turned into an animal or turned from an animal into a human with little to no explanation as to what the hell was going on.

The Weasley brothers happned to have an insanely powerful artifact lying around with no explanation as to what the hell it is or where it came from. Ditto with Hermione's time machine necklace, which turns up just in the nick of time to save the day. The whole time traveling scene in general was not nearly as cool as the end of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, where Keanu Reeve's incantation of "remember the garbage can" causes a garbage can with "WYLD STALLIONS RULE" spray painted on it to fall on his father's head. Now THAT'S how you fuck with the time line!

The villain from Dragonheart was in it, but playing a good guy who you momentarily think is a bad guy before you realize he's a good guy expept when he's a wolf, when he's a bad guy.

Come to think of it, who WAS the villain in this movie? I don't think there was one. Sirius Black wasn't. Snape wasn't. The werewolf wasn't, really. The dementors are more like true neutral d&d characters. So who was the villain? That rat guy who was in the movie for three minutes?

What a steaming pile of dogshit! The hippogriff was cute though.

Like I said, I'm sure the books are much better, and I'm sure fans of the book found more to appreciate here, but even as a kids' movie this is no The Iron Giant. Hell, I'd say it barely meets the level of second tier fantasy adventures like Flight of the Navigator and that movie with the unicorn. The Dark Crystal, I think it's called.

I'm disappointed by Shawn's review of Riddick. I was starting to get my hopes up for it after a couple raves appeared on Ain't It Cool News. I'll probably check out a matinee when it arrives. I'm not above some mindless sci-fi ass kicking.

I'm gonna go out on a limb with a prediction: Star Wars Episode III will be really really good.

Memories

2004-06-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

Tony Soprano was seen sitting on the steps of my elementary school at the end of last night's episode. I half expected Principal Venezia ("Mr. V") to charge out the front door and shoo him off.

Ond his lic lageth aet Wincaester

2004-06-07T04:35:00.000-07:00

A quote from Jack Shit for today:

"I woke up today smiling, knowing that Ronald Reagan woke up in hell."

If you cannot secure your restraints, you will not be allowed to ride...

2004-06-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

Went to Six Flags New Englad yesterday. It was a great time, though slightly inferior, in my opinion, to our own SF:Great Adventure. We rode the Superman roller coaster that killed that retarded guy in April. I must say, it was the greatest roller coaster I've ever been on in my life, and the spectre of death that hung over you as you ascended the first hill added greatly to the thrill. The first drop is 220 feet at an insane 80 degree angle. Killer.

Also ate cotton candy, funnel cake, and some horrible carney-style french fries. It's just not a trip to Six Flags if you don't eat horrible food.

Tonight is the Sopranos finale. Nothing else seems to matter. Carey and I are going to make homemade gnocchi with vodka sauce. She got a kick out of seeing the Sopranos house in North Caldwell when she came home with me last weekend. I didnt' realize the location was some sort of secret, but in all my perusals of the internet I see that either no one knows the address, or no one will post the address.

I forget the house number, but it's all the way at the end of Aspen Dr.., a dead end street in North Caldwell. Take the garden state parkway to exit 145 (rt. 280). Take 280 East to exit 7, Pleasant Valley Way. Make a right on Pleasant Valley way and take it all the way to the end into Verona. Make a left onto Bloomfield ave. Take bloomfield ave for about a mile and bear right onto Elm Rd. Take Elm to the blinking red ligh and make a right onto Mountain Ave. Take Mountain Avenue for about three miles or so. When you pass a public school on your left, you're getting close. You want to make a right onto Wildwood Dr. Once on Wildwood, look for Aspen Rd., which is, I believe, the first left.
The Sopranos house is at the end of the street. Voila!

A sham

2004-06-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

I saw the new Harry Potter movie. What is the big frieking deal? These are little more than well made kids movies. I can't believe there are any adults that take them at all seriously. I'm sure the books are better...at least I hope they are...but I think I'm done with this series as something to take seriously.

Complaints:

Every Harry Potter movie is exactly the same. EXACTLY. Start off at home with the mean muggles; have some kind of magical accident; go to Hogwarts; find out abuot something dangerous going on; find out there's a TWIST; final "action" set piece; retrospective finale.

Does EVERY Harry Potter movie have to take place at Hogwarts? Does every Harry Potter movie feature a scene of Harry wandering around the school after hours trying to figure things out?

The only awesome part of this movie is, again, Alan Rickman. That guy just rules the earth. The next movie should just be about Snape.

I should have stayed home and watched the Yankee game.

Bomb the Prom

2004-06-04T14:18:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to my prom, either Junior or Senior. Frankly, I thought it was for jocks, popular girls and the retards who wanted to be like them. I was a lot more angry and anti-everything back in those days, but looking back on it I feel a certain amount of pride in having rejected what is, in reality, nothing more than a way for tuxedo and limousine companies to exploit young people's rich parents.

I think today I would probably go, because I would be excited by the chance to get laid and get drunk, and in general I am much more willing to have fun than I was when I was a chronically enraged 17 year old.

What did I do on prom night? I remember playing an intense game of Fortress America at Derek Young's house with Rob Draper and Tom Hungerland and perhaps Jeff. I don't remember which country I was playing. Afterwards, we went to Craig Jensen's house and parked outside, waiting for his prom limo to drive past so we could pelt it with waterballoons. It never came. Instead, we put a sign on his front lawn labeling him a traitor to the cause for attending the prom.

I also remember that I skipped the traditional Senior Luau to go to opening night of The X-Files movie with Jeff and David Bander. I did, however, attend Project Graduation. It was a lot of fun, and made me think perhaps I'd been misguided in skipping all those other events (Senior Prom, Senior Trip, Luau, etc.). I remember Derek brought his N64 and we played a lot of Bond and WCW Revenge. Why the fuck did we bring an N64 to project graduation?!??! We should have been trying to make out with chicks and touch boobies for the first time in our lives! Ah well, we were what we were.

No regrets. I will side with my 17 year old self: the prom is for popular girls, jocks, and retards. You're better off playing Fortress America and listening to a lot of Screeching Weasel. There's plenty of time to get drunk and fuck in college.

We have decided to rid the world of your worthless civilization

2004-06-04T10:43:00.000-07:00

Any hope I had for making this summer an intellectually productive one is destined to fly out the window the moment my Civilization III online version gets delivered from Amazon.com

Last night I had a nightmare that Samantha's stalker stole my identity. Wierd.

Academia

2004-06-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

I am trying to get a spot in the ALSC conference in November. They've put out a call for papers on film adaptation.

Anyone interested can check out the call for papers

You're 999,000 in a million.

2004-06-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

Through Erik's page I've stumbled upon the blog of Aaron Hostetter.

Like me, he is a PhD student focusing on medieval literature. He likes Tolkien. He is self-conscious about being a medievalist and not yet having French. He was excited to take a seminar on St. Augustine. He even has had some forays into the world of internet personals.

Basically, he seems to have many of the same interests I have. But he also goes to Princeton, which means he's probably better at all of it than I am, and that he'll have a sweet job teaching at Amherst or Dartmouth or Michigan long after I've been forced to abandon academia to become a technical writer at a faceless corporation (this, of course, after slaving for a few years as an adjunct instructor of composition at Dusty Meadow Community College in North Dakota).

Contrary to what Chicken Soup for the Soul may tell you, you're not very unique, and to quote Homer Simpson: "No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better."

Links

2004-06-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Ian for helping me get the links up.

Meat is Good

2004-06-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

Before I forget, I want to say a few words about Ruth's Chris steakhouse.

I have never eaten at Peter Luger's, but if it is appreciably better than Ruth's Chris I would be bowled over. I know Ruth's is a chain, but I don't think I've ever had a better steak--not even the porterhouse at the River Palm Terrace in Fairlawn.

Unable to convince Carey to share the Porterhouse for two with me, I ordered the Ribeye, feeling in the mood for something well marbled and flavorful, as opposed to the more tender choices. Carey went with the safe filet mignon. The steaks at RC come drenched in sizzling butter, as they do at Peter Luger (as Zagat tells me), and let me express my fondness for this practice. Butter goes with steak like beer goes with baseball. Carey was somewhat scared by the menu description and asked for hers sans butter. However, she did opt to have her filet topped with crabmeat and bernaise. An excellent decision.

The ribeye was cooked perfectly: juicy, flavorful, and buttery. The crust was present, but not overpowering, except on the two delightful end-bites, which were very nicely charred.

Carey's filet was probably the most tender I've ever had--at least up there with the Highlawn Pavilion in West Orange. You really didn't need a knife to cut it, and the crabmeat and bernaise topping was a success.

For the sides, we opted to skip the traditional creamed spinach and ordered the creamed corn. Best frieking creamed corn ever. I know that sounds wierd, but it's true. Our other side consisted of broiled tomatoes, Carey's choice, and this was the one item that disappointed me. I'd have been happier with the sweet potato casserole.

We split a bottle of $45 Shiraz that was serviceable if unspectacular. We were there to eat, afterall, not spend $90 on a top shelf bottle of wine.

Lest you think steak is all they do, let me add that the creme brulee we shared was light as air with an outstanding crust, and topped with predictably perfect raspberries and strawberries. Oh christ, was it good. I'm not the world's biggest creme brulee fan...at less spectacular restaurants I often feel like I'm simply eating the filling of a boston cream donut...but I would order this version any chance I got.

Even the tab seemed like something of a bargain at $200. What a performance by the folks at Ruth's Chris. Go eat there as soon as you get access to an expense account.

Nineveh has fallen, who will mourn for her?

2004-06-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously considering applying the the Penn PhD program in Ancient History. What do I have to lose? I've a 99 per cent chance of being rejected, but if I were to be accepted it would give me another option should I find my second year in an English PhD program utterly disheartening.

I have five semester of Latin--I would probably need to scrounge up a recommendation or two from an old Classics professor. Perhaps Dr. Mary English at Montclair State University, with whom I studied Virgil. A letter from Eugene Green should give a good idea of my ability to work with antiquated cultures and texts--how different can Assyrian be from Anglo-Saxon, anyway?

We'll see if this goes anywhere. Just something to think about on a dull Wodenes-daeg at work.

Links

2004-06-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to figure out how to link to other people's blogs. I must be some sort of moron.

for now, here's Shawn Adler.

Broadband

2004-06-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

Finally! No more Windows 95, no more dialup, no more Pentium 1 processor!

Best of all, I blew a quarter of my paycheck on MLB TV! I can now watch as many baseball games as I want every night. Tonight I watched the second half of the Yankees/Orioles game, with intermittent stops at the Marlins/Reds game and the Indians/Rangers game.

MLB TV!!!!!

Tightening the Van Allen Belts

2004-06-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

I'm about to start Brian Greene's new book, The Fabric of the Cosmos. If it's half as great as The Elegant Universe I'm in for a treat. Every time I read his stuff, I realize how much smarter physics professors are than English professors.

Oh...

2004-06-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

A few words on the Byzantium exhibit at the Met. Yes, it is very good. I was perhaps underwhelmed because for some reason I was expecting it to be like lying on my back looking up at the ceiling of Hagia Sophia--but, it was still a fine exhibit. However, it would have been much more enjoyable had it not been jammed to the teeth with fat, ignorant yokels yakking it up on their cell phone or gazing with slack-jawed wonder at "them golden bibles," and annoying kids running around, some of them reenacting Soul Caliber fighting moves on each other, while their moronic parents stood by in affected ignorance.

Also, to the woman who was pretending to know something about medieval history, you might find it interesting to know that, contrary to what you explained very loudly and at length to your friend, the Byzantine Greeks were not "fighting the Arabs to reconquer the holy land." Some elementary self-education on the difference between the Catholic and Orthodox churches and on the primary makeup of crusading armies might help you to sound like less of a shmuck. Need I even point out that in 1204, the Byzantine capital was sacked and its inhabitants massacred and raped by the very Crusaders with whom you conflate them.

If the Yankees trade Dioner Navarro for Brett Boone, I'll fucking puke.

Cold

2004-06-01T11:03:00.000-07:00

Back in Boston, and it's about 50 degrees. What in the christ fuck? My new Pentium 4 arrived, but doesn't seem to want to talk to my old monitor from 1995. I'm off to Best Buy tonight to get a new CRT--flat panels are still a bit beyond my means.

Over the weekend my mother told me that my father was friends with Robert Bly at Michigan. I thought that was pretty cool.

One more Paul Fussell gem for today, with a nod to Erik K., the one person I know to have attended both Princeton and Rutgers:

Now an associate professor on tenure, I felt secure enough to go my own way without much regard to any social envies and anxieties from my Rutgers colleagues. I was using the university library in Princeton so much that it seemed logical to live there and commute to New Brunswick. This I did for the next twenty-three years. On the drive back to Princeon, there was a long stretch of absolutely straight two-lane road, with, at the end before it turned, a small hill covered with shrubbery. I never saw it without thinking it the perfect position for an anti-tank gun, should Princeton ever be attacked by an envious New Brunswick, which sometimes seemed a not unlikely possibility. As the years passed, almost all our social and cultural life was in Princeton, doubtless to the annoyance of people at Rutgers, even though almost no one lived near the university. Our social crime was not living at a distance but living in Princeton, suggesting snobbish dissastifaction with the state university's social and intellectual ambience.

Doing Battle

2004-05-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

Paul Fussell's autobiography is moving and stimulating--a given with any volume that displays his name on the cover [My 18th century literature professor warned me about relying too heavily on Fussell in my research, lest the 18th century community see me as some sort of old fashioned, Retro-New-Critical/Formalist throwback;the intellectual equivalent, I suppose, of Oriole Park at Camden Yards. I happen to love Camden Yards, so I'm not really worried.]. The war chapters are, as anyone would expect, harrowing and enlightening, yet they are also free of the Will To Romanticize that weighs down shlock like Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers. The men who fought in the war did a valuable service, and what they endured I cannot imagine, but I appreciate Mr. Fussell's honesty when he writes of his:
....realization of the sheer badness, regardless of advertising or pretense, of the military units I was part of. It was not easy to forget the anguish of the architect's widow or the stupid, clumsy reconnaissance at Nothalten....Although occasionally it occupied foxholes dug by other units, my company almost never dug itself in but lazily made do by lying on top of the ground, the way it did when under artillery fire in the open field on March 15. For anyone with eyes open, it's hard not to share the view of the American ground forces held by British field marshal Sir Harold Alexander....The Americans, he said, simply "do not know their jobs as soldiers, and this is the same from highest to lowest...."
....In the opinion of British military historian Max Hastings, the American forces were so bad (and actually so were most of the British) "that when allied troops met Germans on anything like equal terms, the Germans almost always prevailed." Thank God the troops, most of them, didn't know how bad we were. It's hard enough to be asked to die in the midst of heroes, but to die in the midst of stumblebums led by fools--intolerable. And I include myself in this indictment.

That's the most memorable example of the frankness that makes the book so appealing. Also, its visceral accounts of combat are especially gripping after all the reading I've done recently about the warfare of Antiquity and the Middle Ages, where vague and general accounts of thousand year old conflicts tend to reduce the experience of battle to something like the movement of so many colored Risk pieces.

Sailing to Byzantium

2004-05-26T14:27:00.001-07:00

This Saturday will be Carey's first ever trip to New York City. I am taking her to the Met, where, to my delight, they have just unveiled a new exhibit on Late Byzantine Culture, including art and holy relics from the greatest city in all of medieval Christendom. In breathless excitement, I wondered aloud to Josh Goldfond if they would have the crown of Michael VIII Paleologus on display. Well, when I looked at the list of exhibits on line, I found that one of the first mentioned is "The Imperial Seal of Michael VIII." Not too shabby. In all seriousness, this sounds like it could be the greatest exhibit in Met history, at least for all the Steven Runciman fans out there. In honor of this wondrous collection, I will share with you one of my favorite passages from "The Fall of Constantinople: 1453." The moment described occurs after Giustiniani has been wounded and the Turks have breached the inner walls:

"For his part [Constantine] knew the empire was finished, and he had no wish to outlive it. He flung away his Imperial insignia and charged headlong into the breach, never to be seen again."

That's the way to go out, my friends.

I tried to get a reservation at Peter Luger's for that night, but they are all booked up. I'll have to check my Zagat's guide for a backup plan. Any suggestions?

Bagels

2004-05-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

I'm back in New Jersey for a few days. It's great to be able to eat a bagel that doesn't FUCKING SUCK.

Can someone tell me what in the fuck has happened to Carlos Beltran? I'm about to bench his ass for Corey Patterson. Carlos, you're 27 years old, a superstar, coming into your power peak, and you play in the third best hitters park in the American league:

STOP SUCKING!

Of course, this could just be a natural regression after the huge statistical outlier that was his first month, but I can't remember the last time this bozo got an xbh.

I'm debating driving to Philadelphia Thursday night for the Phillies/Braves game. I've been dying to see Citizens Bank Ballpark, but I need to get someone to go with me. My Camden yards trip will have to wait, as I have to visit my grandfather on Tuesday.

Swords Against the Senate was good, not great. It's mostly about the Jugurthine war and Marius and Sulla...which always makes for a good read. Still, I wouldn't exactly call this serious historical research--he basically just rewrote Sallust and Plutarch.

Next it's a choice between Steven Runciman's three volume Crusades history, and Paul Fussell's autobiography. I think I'll read the Fussell first, then take on Runciman, which might eat up a good chunk of the rest of the summer.

What the hell

2004-05-20T14:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have no idea how the hell I'm supposed to get people to see this. I don't know what is going on. No sir, not at all.

ESPN goes SABR

2004-05-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

ESPN debuted DIPS stats for their sortable pitcher stats today. The SABR community at Baseball Primer is very excited by the development. You can now sort pitchers by their BABIP, and see how their ERA compares to their dERA.

I was happy to see that Nate Robertson is handily underpforming his DIPS, and that he's third in the league in K-Rate for all pitchers who qualify innings-wise. I still think he could be good, and these peripherals might support that.

Less encouraging is what DIPS says about Javier Vazquez, whose BABIP is well below league average. Of course, I'm not a hardline dipper, but Javy'z homeritis to this point should have anyone conerned. However, I've also watched him pitch, and my intuition tells me that there's more than luck behind his low BABIP. His LD% is low...though some extreme DIPS-minded folks would say that's no more predictable than BABIP as a whole.

I wasted about 30 minutes at work today with a DIPS discussion on Primer. I guess I fall into the camp that buys into a low but statistically significant correlation between pitcher's DIPS year to year (ala Tom Tippet). Good pitchers do give up fewer hits on balls in play, but not enough to override the importance of good K, BB, and homerun rates.

Vance Law Review said it best today...find me a pitcher that strikes out a lot of guys, doesn't walk many, dosn't give up a lot of homeruns, and yet gives up a lot of line drives, and you might convince me otherwise.

Jon Lieber won last night, but the Angels are a perfect opponent for him. A more patient team that can work some counts and draw some walks could murder him if his BABIP luck ever ran out.

My god, Sulla was one sadistic fuck.
I bought Paul Fussell's autobiography.

Tantae molis erat...

2004-05-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

I'm forgetting more Latin by the second. Could Old English be far behind? It doesn't help that the most common genitive plural ending for the latter is a common accusative plural ending for the former.

I saw Troy a couple of days ago. It was cool as hell. It didn't have much to do with Homer, but then again neither does Pope's Iliad. Pope blushed at some of the cruder aspects of Myceanean Greek culture and tweaked event and character to his liking (Not to mention the fact that two lines of iambic pentameter for every one line of DacHex=a lot of filler required.) Can we blame Wolfgang Peterson for doing something similar...adjusting character, plot points, and theme to fit the expectations of a 20th century audience? Some people have complained about the lack of Olympian Gods in the movie. Who gives a crap? Remember Clash of the Titans with Olivier as Zeus? That was the lamest crap ever. I've also seen some reviewers express their dismay over the fate of Agamemmnon--he meets his doom at the sack of Troy, instead of in his bathtub at the hands of his wife. Again, I say so what. If Aeschylus can put a new spin on the legend, why can't the screenwriters of Troy? This isn't History, it's folklore. I support Christopher Lambert's right to play Beowulf as a futuristic Space Commando, and I support Wolfgang Peterson's right to give Anciet Greeks British accents.

What works in a 2500 year old Epic poem inscribed on stone tablets will not necessarily make a good two and a half hour movie.
All that aside, Achilles was a fucking badass. Eric Bana and Brad Pitt came through big time with that fight scene.

Oh, and Peter O'Toole still rules. His scene in Achilles' tent is, I am sure, exactly what Homer had in mind. Perfect. That Aeneas cameo was funny...it reminded me of those episodes of Quantum Leap where Sam Beckett would meet someone who would become famous in the future. I was glad W.P. remembered to have Anchises leaning on Aeneas's shoulder, but where were the penates patriae?

Although the score absolutely sucked. Why did it have so much yodeling?

The Yankee game starts in 30 minutes. I have beer and baked tortilla chips. Can Jon Lieber continue his miraculous comeback? Can Derek Jeter stop sucking for just a second? Let's find out.

One more thing for today...

2004-05-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at work (I work for the Association of Literary Scholars and Critics) I got to process Richard Poirier's membership form. He's the kind of dude who used to teach at Rutgers before we got Sandy Flitterman-Lewis.

Yes Master

2004-05-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

I officially got my Master's Degree on Saturday. My final papers were not as well received as last semester.

Bonnie Costello (Modern Lyric): You write beautifully about things that matter, but your paper comes off as somewhat platitudinous. Narrow your focus. B+

Julia Prewitt Brown (Dickens): This witty, well written paper was a pleasure to read, but I found myself hungering for more literary analysis. You need to do more with Dickens' sources. B+

Eugene Green (Beowulf): This essay achieves its purpose effectively, though I am not sure all the examples of appositives you choose are appropriate. No grade given.

James Winn (Pope): Haven't gotten in back yet, but I got an A- for the semester.

I'll admit, I did my share of phoning it with this round. I really, really wanted to shoot myself at times. That was one hard fucking semester, let me tell you. I am going to spend this summer reading approximately nothing that has to do with literature. First up, Swords Aganst the Senate: The Fall of the Roman Republic, by Eric Hildinger.

Why not

2004-05-19T11:43:00.000-07:00

How exactly is this more sophisticated than livejournal.com?